I keep thinking about how I would be preparing for our baby that would come in just 3 months. It's hard to believe that it has been that long. That I would know the sex and picking out names. I am at a point right now where I feel so empty. Like my life does not have a purpose. The human part of me keeps wondering if God is hearing my prayers, I feel like I am losing faith and hope of having a healthy family. The Christian part of me keeps telling myself that I know better than to doubt God and that He has a better plan for me. My heart hurts. I long to be pregnant and to hold our baby in our arms, to teach it about God and life. I feel like we have so much to give and teach our children. I feel like I can't catch a break with a lot of things going on in my life. What am I suppose to do with myself. I never thought this would happen to me. I thought that if it ever did that I would be okay because at least I knew that our baby would go to heaven. It has been a lot harder than I thought. I am so emotionally tired.