I keep thinking about how I would be preparing for our baby that would come in just 3 months. It's hard to believe that it has been that long. That I would know the sex and picking out names. I am at a point right now where I feel so empty. Like my life does not have a purpose. The human part of me keeps wondering if God is hearing my prayers, I feel like I am losing faith and hope of having a healthy family. The Christian part of me keeps telling myself that I know better than to doubt God and that He has a better plan for me. My heart hurts. I long to be pregnant and to hold our baby in our arms, to teach it about God and life. I feel like we have so much to give and teach our children. I feel like I can't catch a break with a lot of things going on in my life. What am I suppose to do with myself. I never thought this would happen to me. I thought that if it ever did that I would be okay because at least I knew that our baby would go to heaven. It has been a lot harder than I thought. I am so emotionally tired.
The Love of my Life.
Our Little Man
4 comments:
Dearest Crystal--the fact is, you will never forget that first baby. You are going through a time of mourning just as if you had been able to see and hold that baby. With time, the pain will ease, but you will still remember.
God does have an excellent plan for you, but at the moment you can only see a tiny part of the picture, so sometimes it doesn't make much sense. You might try reading about Joseph--he had some great things happen eventually, but not before some other really bad stuff. Still, he trusted God and gave Him his heart, and was rewarded for doing so.
We are so glad to have you out here on the "ridge", and continue to keep you both in our thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry Crystal. I'm at a loss for words and feel that there are no words that I can say that will bring you comfort; but know we are praying for you to overcome the pain and that God's plan for you may be revealed. We love you!!
Crystal,
I wanted to send you an email but apparently have lost your address. I will certainly be praying for you, that you may find comfort and peace during this difficult time you're going through. The same thing happened to me as the due date approached and I still struggle periodically with the loss. You will always love and miss your baby. But remember he/she is in the best place possible. Hang in there. Time is a great healer. Don't lose your faith or trust in God, for he will bless his children as they remain faithful to Him. What we may think of as trials or tribulations are really blessings in disguise sometimes. You might not be able to see it now, like "Quilter Mom" said, but one day you may understand. Also, when we do suffer and experience pain on this earth it sometimes brings us closer to God and helps us to focus and depend on Him more. Please don't ever hesitate to call if you need me! Think on these things: Phil 4:8 Love,Elizabeth
I wish I knew what to say to take away your pain or lessen it a bit. I hate that I don't have any words, because I hate that you are hurting.
I love you very much. You are an amazing Christian woman.
Katlynn
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